Tegan and Sara Quin have been making music together since they were teens in the ‘90s, so it’s no wonder the sisters are slowing down a bit in their 40s.

The prolific indie-rock artists and LGBTQ advocates, both 43, remember entering this new decade during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. That ushered in their 40s “in a strange way that, you know, wasn’t exactly casual,” recalls Sara. In 2022, Tegan and Sara left Warner Bros. Records, their longtime record label, for the indie outfit Mom + Pop. “And then I also became a parent at 42,” she continues. “So far, at least for me, there’s something really significant about how much foundational change has happened.” 

Naturally, these personal and professional shifts prompted Sara to reevaluate her work-life balance. “I think in your 20s and 30s, time is on your side…you’re just kind of excited to be ripping through life and doing what you’re doing,” she explains. “And whereas now with my 40s, I’m like, ‘Let’s slow down.’ I’ve really loved my 40s, but it’s definitely no joke. Like, here we are.”

Tegan isn’t a parent, but she echoes her twin sister’s sentiment. “There’s a lot of searching in the first couple of decades [of your life], a lot of strife and tumult,” she says. “And then you get to your 40s. And as Sara said, you take a breather; you slow down a little bit. My 40s are like, I need to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I need to think more about what my life should be in its second half rather than, like, freaking out through my 20s and 30s.”

Granted, Tegan and Sara have kept plenty busy over the past few years. In 2022, the Grammy-nominated duo debuted Crybaby, their 10th studio album and first with Mom + Pop Music; they toured the album in the latter half of 2023.

Last month, they also released Under My Control, an Audible Originals audio-memoir interspersed with new recordings of classic Tegan and Sara cuts. It’s the latest in a series of autobiographical projects for the Quin sisters, who previously penned a memoir about their high school days. The book, High School, was later adapted into an Amazon Prime Video series.

“We’ve been in a place the last handful of years where we’ve been looking back a lot,” says Tegan. “And I think some artists don’t want to do that because there’s still so much ageism in our business, especially for women.” But she and Sara have had a blast re-releasing older songs and watching them reach new audiences — not unlike Taylor Swift, a fellow music-industry disruptor. (They’re big fans; at the moment, Tegan is on an “Anti-Hero” kick.)

Given Tegan and Sara’s decades-spanning catalog, selecting which songs to re-record was no easy feat. First, they chose the narrative thread for the project, which helped tremendously, says Tegan. Their cornerstone? “Songs or moments in our career that allowed us to shift focus or to change directions, and do things that surprised people.”

And surprise people, they have. When Tegan and Sara began their career in the late ‘90s and early aughts, they were two of the few openly gay artists in their sphere. 

“To be stuck in this genre of indie-rock music, where it was really, really unusual to be talking about yourself being gay, and then to be young women in a predominantly male, straight, cis genre, it was really challenging,” Sara remembers. At times, “it really felt like we were the only people who were pushing back against some of the stereotypes and kinds of discrimination that we were experiencing.” 

She recalls being faced with a “very binary choice”: “Don’t say anything and just ignore it, or take it on. And then it actually becomes part of your identity. You’re the band that has to always be talking about these injustices.” She and Tegan chose the latter — a decision that has helped move the needle in their industry. “I love that we were able to do that and sort of change that narrative,” she adds. “But, you know, it was a pretty big burden.”

Thanks in part to celebrities like Tegan and Sara, our culture at large has also become more accepting of LGBTQ+ people. However, there’s still room for improvement — especially for LGBTQ+ women, who face more socioeconomic disadvantages than their male counterparts. 

Enter the Tegan and Sara Foundation, the Quin sisters’ namesake nonprofit. Founded in 2016, the organization raises awareness and funding for causes benefiting LGBTQ+ women.

“[The foundation] was a huge part of Sarah and I’s second half of our career journey,” Tegan says. “Like, okay, we’re done panicking through the first part of our career, where we’re just trying to make a name for ourselves and establish ourselves. And now we’re into a part of our career where we have the ear of a lot of important people, and we have a platform and a decent-sized audience.”

“Obviously, the LGBTQ+ community is super important to us — not just because we’re members of it, but also because they’ve been such a support to us over our two decades in the biz,” she explains. 

So, rest assured, “slowing down” doesn’t mean Tegan and Sara are out of commission. In some ways, they’re doing more with their platform, and their sprawling catalog, than ever.

Next spring, they also plan to hit the road for an acoustic tour centered on their first album, 2002’s If It Was You. Although the album has been out for more than 20 years, they’ve never played the whole thing live and start-to-finish. “That doesn’t mean that we’re going to stop making new things,” adds Tegan. “But I think it’s been really exciting to revisit some of the stuff from the past because it’s [still] so relevant.”

When is Capricorn season in 2023?

This year, Capricorn season extends from Dec. 22, 2023 to Jan. 19, 2024, and we get to look forward to Mercury being in retrograde for the first part of it. (RIP.) While Capricorn energy “is all about getting stuff done and focusing on our goals,” the Mercury retrograde means that “instead of pushing forward, we will be focusing on reviewing our overall life strategy,” Narayana Montúfar, senior astrologer at Astrology.com, tells SheKnows.

Luckily, we’ll be getting some celestial help during this time. Between Dec. 21 and Dec. 31, “Jupiter—the planet of luck and optimism—will be very active,” Montúfar explains, which means we’ll “be able to distinguish which paths of opportunity will be available to us.”

Capricorn traits: Determined go-getters

The thing to know about Capricorns is that they just get things done. As a Libra, I try my best to understand the merits of all Zodiac signs and their seasons and energies, even those that don’t always make sense to me personally. Decisive and efficient, the world is a to-do list that they’re going to finish for Capricorns. They’re just like that. A friend of mine dated a Capricorn once who realized she had a broken shower head and showed up one day to just replace it. Just like saw a thing to be done, did it with confidence and rolled on by. (I cannot relate but love that for them, TBH.)

As we say in all of our zodiac sex tips, every sign works with a different season/planet differently and works differently in your chart! Your personal birth chart (calculated via birth date, location and time) contains all sorts of diverse parts of your you-ness that make up your specific personality. So be sure to check your sun sign, your moon sign and your ascendant/rising sign (think: your ego, who you are when you’re alone on a deep personal level and the mask you wear/how others see you), as well as your other prominent planets out for a full zodiac picture (Mars and Venus are always interesting in the realm of sex and relationships!) — and you might benefit from a sit down with an astrologer to go over your chart and get an understanding of how well you play with other signs. It can be a really special and transformative experience!

Capricorn season sex tip: It’s time to take charge

With what we know about Capricorns — they like running the show and doing what/who they came to do (and more importantly doing ’em well) — we think it’s a fine time to embrace your bossy side or encourage it in your partner. “Capricorn energy is stoic and incredibly focused on doing anything as best as possible, and that includes sex,” Montúfar says. “This is a take-charge kind of energy, calling for one person to take the lead and the other one to fully surrender!” If you happen to find yourself on a Capricorn’s to-do list or simply want to embrace that energy in bed this season, keep reading.

In the bedroom this can most obviously take the form of leaning into kinky power play, in one form or another. “If there is ever a time to try having sex tied up, it is now during Capricorn season,” Montúfar says. “It allows for a full-on surrender, take-charge dynamic, satisfying the ambitious and authoritarian vibe of the season. Trading places is recommended for both parties to feel the sense of empowerment this can bring!”

Embracing your dominant side (or submissive side) can also teach you a lot about the things that get you both excited and make you feel valued and cared for. Maybe try setting out a rule or two for the encounter, introduce some restraints or simply put the planning firmly in one of your hands (and heads) for the day. (Do not underestimate how hot a creative, thorough and well-executed plan can be, folks!)

Montúfar also recommends positions like seated face-to-face to deepen your connection and embrace the open energy of Capricorn season. This position “sets us up for staring at each other’s eyes, helping us warm things up and better read what the other one of feeling and enjoying,” she explains.

You can also try exciting positions like hot seat (the penetrating partner lies back with their legs and feet off the bed, and the receiving partner sits on top), or desk domination, where the penetrating partner stands and the receiving partner lies back on a desk or table. Hot seat “allows the receiving partner to be in control of the depth, angle, and rate of penetration,” Montúfar explains, while desk domination “allows for the receiver to totally surrender, leaving the giver in complete charge!”

There are also couple of dates to be aware of this season. The first is Jan. 12, when Jupiter magnifies the energy of Mars, the planet of sex and drive. “Plan a hot date,” Montúfar suggests. “Tonight, our stamina reaches climax, so make the best of it!”

Then, between Jan. 14 and Jan. 19, Pluto — known as “one of the kinkiest planets,” Montúfar says — will be “incredibly active.” She explains, “Pluto’s penetrating energy gives us X-ray vision, allowing us to figure out the other person’s truest and deepest desires. This will be a time in which a lot of us will be pushing our own boundaries in bed, as our need to connect at a deeper level will be present and almost insatiable. Think of long, slow, and deep movements as well as make-out sessions!”

Capricorns are all about taking charge, so lean into that energy in whatever way it resonates for you. If it means getting on top and introducing some power play into your sex life, go for it; if it means initiating sex or showing your partner it’s a priority to you, that’s great too. (Knowing your partner prioritizes your one-on-one time is incredibly sexy, after all.) If you embody the Capricorn energy, moving intentionally and confidently toward your goal (pleasure for yourself and your partner), you’ll find that there’s something undeniably hot about that determination.

A version of this post was originally published in 2021.

Before you go, check out 69 of our favorite sex positions to add to your bucket list: 

The world got to know Amanda Kloots as a caregiver to and cheerleader for her husband Nick Cordero, who passed away in 2020 after a long fight with Covid-19. But her own creative journey and fitness career has been in the works for a much longer time. A former Radio City Rockette and Broadway performer and current fitness entrepreneur, jump rope afficionado, talk show host of CBS’s The Talk, Dancing with the Stars contestant, and author of a memoir and children’s book, Kloots is constantly pursuing her multiple passions and spreading her own infectious positive outlook in the process.

One of her latest projects is a partnership with Voltaren, an arthritis pain gel that was a go-to for her when she had an arthritic hand injury during Dancing with the Stars Season 30 in late 2021. She already believed in the product itself, and since the campaign was around making sure caregivers of parents, partners, children, or other loved ones are also taking care of and strengthening their own bodies, it was a no-brainer to forge a partnership. “When they came to me with the caregiver partnership, I loved it because I’m a single mom and took care of Nick in the hospital. You don’t realize how much you lose yourself when you have to take care of someone else….caregivers aren’t given the respect and care that they need,” Kloots says.

She developed a series of exercises for caregivers to do in the minutes of the day that they have for themselves (check out her Instagram videos for a demo). These are designed to be simple sequences of moves and stretches you can do at home, with minimal equipment. That’s already how Kloots has set up her fitness business, which involves dance cardio, jump rope, and bodyweight and toning workouts you can stream from your living room without gym equipment.

The focus of the workout sequence is keeping your body strong, especially if you have to lift and assist other people, and using movement as a stress reliever. “One of my favorite reasons to work my body out is to give myself a break and clear my mind,” Kloots says. “It’s about finding those five minutes in your day to follow along with the exercises I’ve created, do a downward dog, hold a plank, do a 10 minute walk around your neighborhood, or do a 10 minute meditation.”

Kloots is so adamant that caregivers give back to themselves because it can be an exhausting and often thankless (unpaid) job. Both movement and self-care should be incorporated in your day, but so should a self-acknowledgement of everything you’re doing to take care of another person. “Remind yourself to give yourself a pat on the back,” Kloots says. “When you’re caregiving, a lot of things go unseen, and even the person you’re caring for doesn’t always have the ability to say thank you — it may be an elderly person suffering from dementia who can’t tell you how much you are appreciated.”

That’s why Kloots has to also walk the walk and make sure she’s taking time for herself as she juggles parenting her four-year-old son, Elvis, hosting The Talk, and other professional projects.  With her early morning schedule, it can be tough to find the motivation and energy to work out after work (relatable). Her solution? She loves to constantly switch up her fitness routine to keep herself energized. “I mix it up. Every day I do something different: train myself, take another trainer’s class, or take a dance class. I love being a student for a change,” Kloots says. And while she’s filming The Talk, she’s known to jump rope in the parking lot of the studio. “Sometimes I’m on producer calls at the same time. I could be jumping rope on this call right now and no one would know,” she laughs. She equates that non-negotiable 10-minute jump routine to taking a shower each day.

As much as she embraces changing it up in her workout routines, she’s learned to accept change in life too, though that can be more difficult to put in practice. The Covid-19 pandemic in particular made a life-changing impact on Kloots and her family. “I think that the pandemic changed a lot of things for everyone, whether we recognize it or not, even subconsciously, the way a lot of us live and act and think,” Kloots says. Losing her husband so suddenly, with him going from a state of great health to systemic illness in a matter of months, radically shifted her perspective on life and her relationships. “Each day is a gift, and we don’t know what’s in store for us — I’m a huge advocate for finding peace in our life, not going to bed angry, not fighting, and trying to find resolutions. We don’t know the other side of tomorrow,” she says.

Her plans for her life before the pandemic don’t look anything like her life now. “It’s hard to plan. I’m a huge dreamer and goal setter, but I’ve learned to love change. We are meant to change, grow, and evolve. I’m a completely different person than I was three years ago,” Kloots says. She actively encourages others to fight the fear of personal growth, even when it’s uncomfortable, and change in your environment and situation. “I’m a huge positive quote person,” she says. (She posts a “positive quote of the day” to her Instagram story every day, often alongside videos of “Musical Mornings” jamming out with her son Elvis, who has blossomed into a musically-inclined, free-spirited personality before followers’ eyes over the last three years.) One of her all-time favorite quotes? “The scariest thing is being the same person in 6 months.”

That’s the rule a husband broke this year, according to a post from his partner on Reddit. The partner, or OP (Reddit-speak for original poster), took to the site’s Am I the Asshole forum for a second opinion after realizing that their gifts this Christmas were underwhelming, to say the least. At best, you could call them “household items,” at worst, tools for chores. Pro tip: gifting your partner a vacuum cleaner they didn’t ask for is a surefire way to show that you see them as a servant and not much else!

So what exactly were the gifts, and how did OP react when they found out about them? And of course, what did Reddit have to say about it all? (Spoiler: they don’t think OP’s the asshole.) Read on for the full story.

“She doesn’t have control over her muscles,” Dion’s sister, Claudette, told 7 Jours in French. “What breaks my heart is that she’s always been disciplined. She’s always worked hard. Our mother always told her, ‘You’re going to do it well, you’re going to do it properly.'”

The Grammy-award winning artist hopes to return to performing, but for now, the future is unclear. “It’s true that in both our dreams and hers, the goal is to return to the stage,” Claudette said. “In what capacity? I don’t know.”

Last December, Dion released an emotional Instagram video explaining her diagnosis to her fans. Speaking in French and English, Dion, 55, said she had been experiencing health issues “for a long time” — including severe muscle spasms that affect “every aspect of my daily life.” Sometimes, she had difficulty walking; other times, she is unable to use her vocal cords to sing properly.

“While we’re still learning about this rare condition, we now know that this is what has been causing all of the spasms that I’ve been having,” she explained.

In May, Dion was forced to cancel her Courage World Tour due to her health. “I’m so sorry to disappoint all of you once again,” she wrote on Instagram at the time. “I’m working really hard to build back my strength, but touring can be very difficult even when you’re 100% … I want you all to know, I’m not giving up… and I can’t wait to see you again!”

For Dion, the priority is her health. “For me to reach you again, I have no choice but to concentrate on my health at this moment,” she explained in the 2022 video. “And I have hope that I’m on the road to recovery. This is my focus, and I’m doing everything I can to recuperate.”

According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS), Stiff Person Syndrome is a potentially disabling neurological disorder with features of an autoimmune disease. It affects the central nervous system, specifically the brain and spinal cord. Symptoms include muscle rigidity in the trunk of the body and “heightened sensitivity to stimuli,” which causes the severe muscle spasms Dion mentioned in the video. There is no cure.

Stiff Person Syndrome is classified as rare because it only affects about 1–2 people per every million, according to the Stiff Person Syndrome Research Foundation. As a result, it is often misdiagnosed as more common illnesses with similar symptoms, such Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, or anxiety and phobia disorders. On average, it takes anywhere from five to seven years for patients to get a diagnosis.

According to Claudette, Dion is currently living with their sister, Linda, in Las Vegas while receiving care from specialists in the condition.

A version of this article was originally published in 2022.

Before you go, check out the mental health apps we love and swear by:

Tamron Hall’s holiday wish for women is a “greater perspective,” a gift that the journalist, talk show host, and author says that midlife has offered her. “What I am now recognizing is… not everything is a big deal.”

Hall was “afraid to run out of time” in her thirties. After 15 years at local news stations in Texas and Illinois, she made the jump in 2007 to bring her unique perspective to major national networks — anchoring and hosting shows at MSNBC, serving as a correspondent on NBC News, and co-hosting the third hour of the “Today Show.” 

“Your hair is on fire because you want to get it done and you want to succeed,” Hall recalled about that time of growth and transition to Flow. “You’re trying to figure out what ambition means and you want to define yourself in this very big way.” 

Now in her fifties, Hall seems to have finally gotten it all done. 

She has won two Emmy Awards, the Edward R. Murrow Award, and two Gracie Awards from The Alliance for Women in Media Foundation, and the New York City Council has issued a proclamation in her honor for her Outstanding Service and Achievements. 

Her nationally syndicated, self-titled talk show on ABC, “Tamron Hall,” which she hosts and produces, entered a milestone fifth season this year, and is the second longest running Disney-produced syndicated talk show and one of the highest-rated daytime shows of TV. 

Her Court TV original true-crime series, “Someone They Knew With Tamron Hall,” is now in its second season, and she is slated to publish the second book in her Jordan Manning mystery series in 2024. 

And, just a few years ago, at age 48, Hall became a mother for the first time. 

In other words, she’s not done doing the work she loves and building the life she deserves — but she has learned how to let the rest of it flow, and to stop “putting a 20 on a 10,” as her husband likes to say. “Everything matters, but your reaction should be appropriate and fit that situation.”

“I’m not soft. I am still a competitor,” Hall tells Flow. “I still want the things that I want. But I’ve also recognized that I can’t let waters rise that don’t need to.” 

Watch Flow’s full interview with Hall above.

If your child is healthy, a cough of any duration can be safely evaluated and treated at your pediatrician’s office. Yes, I realize that if you are up in the middle of the night, the urge to do something about it in that moment — and the worry as a parent — are nudging you to grab your keys and head to the nearest emergency room. But I want you to know that in otherwise healthy children who are breathing well, there actually isn’t much ER physicians can do. You’re better off getting whatever little rest you can get at home, reaching for the honey if your child is older than one, and making an appointment in the morning.

The same goes for most fevers. In children who are older than three months and are otherwise well — no dehydration, trouble breathing, or underlying medical conditions — the pediatrician’s office (and not the emergency room) is the best place to evaluate a fever. Though most fevers in young children are due to a viral illness and resolve on their own, primary care pediatricians are also equipped to evaluate for other common causes of fever, such as ear infections, strep throat, and urinary tract infections.

When children are seen in the office, we are also able to take a stepwise approach. For example, if you come in early during an illness, we can always see you back in a few days for fevers that have not gone away and do additional testing then. This approach is tough to do through an emergency room.

Another conversation that is perfect for the primary care office: viral testing, and whether it’s even needed. Following the COVID-19 pandemic, “testing” became a common word in our vocabulary, and many daycares and schools required it regularly for what felt like an eternity. As a result, many of us want to know which virus is causing our ailments- even when that may not change how you or your child is treated. As primary care physicians, we want to talk through the need for these viral tests with you, in the calm of our offices.

I’ll end with two important caveats to the case I’ve made until now. First, if you are worried, we are worried. Emergency rooms and the physicians, nurses, and staff who work there are dedicated professionals ready to help who will not turn you away. And second, there’s no medical advice or compilation of tips that can replace your parental intuition. If something doesn’t feel right and you believe your child needs to be evaluated right now, grab those keys and head on over to the nearest ER.

 Editor’s note: Dr. Edith Bracho-Sanchez is a practicing pediatrician at Columbia University Irving Medical Center, co-founder of Informada, a contributing editor to SheKnows, and a mom to an active toddler.

Before you go, grab these all-natural remedies to relieve your child’s cold symptoms:

As we enter the colder months, with the days getting shorter and nights coming quicker, some of us find that we’re more tired than usual, are generally grumpy and feel out of it and spacey. Maybe you’re feeling less excited about or interested in things that you normally love. We often chalk it up to that melancholy of another cold season and another year coming to a close, but it’s a little more complicated than that.

While the pandemic and its toll on our collective and individual mental health is still a part of the equation, these feelings are also potentially mixing with the other extremely common fall and winter mental health condition: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that is four times more likely to strike women than men, according to a study in the American Journal of Psychiatry. A whopping four to six percent of the U.S. population suffers from SAD, while up to 20 percent more may suffer from a milder form of the winter blues. And if you live in the northern latitudes, you are eight times more likely to be affected by SAD than if you live in sunnier regions.

What are the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

Are you feeling:

During these bouts with depression in the winter, people dealing with it tend to eat more and exercise less. They often have symptoms such as extreme fatigue and trouble falling asleep, or sleeping more often.

Several factors are thought to be connected to seasonal affective disorder, including a disturbance of your body’s internal clock, which tells you when it is time to be asleep and when it is time to be awake. Fewer daylight hours during the winter can also upset this clock, also known as circadian rhythms.

SAD is caused by the brain not receiving enough daylight which is needed to trigger serotonin, a hormone that regulates mood.

“Often the symptoms are severe enough to interfere with a person’s ability to function effectively at home or work, not just make them uncomfortable,” says Cort Christie of Alaska Northern Lights.

In his book, Winter Blues: Everything You Need to Know to Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder, author Norman E. Rosenthal outlines the signs to look for if you need to seek medical help:

How to cope with your SAD

Seasonal Affective Disorder doesn’t just plague adults during the darker months — children can also become affected by this form of seasonal depression. Make sure you know these signs of SAD and how to prevent it in your kids.

Light therapy

Approximately 85 percent of SAD cases benefit from exposure to bright light therapy, according to the American Psychiatric Association.

Patients are advised to sit near full-spectrum light boxes, which can simulate sunshine. This treatment seems to work especially well if done for 30 minutes at a time, preferably in the early morning, according to author and SAD specialist Dr. Norman Rosenthal. Daily exposure to light boxes that provide 2,500 to 10,000 lux (a measure of light intensity) is recommended. Researchers at Harvard reported that remission from SAD is twice as likely if this light therapy is also adjusted to your own melatonin rhythms.

Studies have also found that cells in the retina are particularly sensitive to blue light, suggesting that this wavelength may powerfully affect circadian rhythms. Researchers are investigating whether blue light might provide the same benefit as white light but with less exposure time.

You can also take some time to get outside for a walk, psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb said in an interview with Katie Couric Media. “Even sitting by a window will help a lot,” she says. “I know that sounds really simple, but it actually is very effective.” Call a loved one while you’re walking and you’ll get a triple whammy: “You’re moving your body, which is really good for endorphins, you’re getting a little bit of sunlight, and you’re connecting with someone, so you’re checking off three things at once,” Gottlieb explains.

Medication and supplements

General medications used to treat moderate depression are sometimes indicated, as are doses of melatonin. Make sure to talk with your doctor about what is the right treatment combo for you.

What are some other ways to prepare for SAD?

Remember: SAD is highly treatable, and there’s always hope!

A version of this story was published November 2013.

Before you go, check out our favorite (affordable) mental health apps: 

We’ve said it once, and we’ll say it a million times until our voices are hoarse from screaming: Society needs to talk about menopause, and no one agrees with that more than Halle Berry. Recently, the Oscar-winning actress spoke to Capitol Hill about menopause legislation, and per Politico, many of the staffers said it was the first time they ever discussed the issue in the monument.

Rep. Yvette Clarke and Rep. Lisa Blunt Rochester have both introduced bills, with Clarke’s bill made to require the National Institutes of Health to focus on menopause, and Rochester’s to focus on funding “a national menopause awareness campaign,” all of which Berry is over the moon about. Berry is currently working with them and other representatives to get these bills going, and for the conversation about menopause to continue.

And in her journey, the Moonfall actress also sat down to talk with Cory Booker about this issue, posting three separate videos. The first video was posted with the caption reading, “Menopause … Let’s talk about it! 9 in 10 women were never educated about menopause. Which is why @corybooker and I dove into the importance of talking about women’s pre-menopausal and menopausal journeys so that we can find more relief in the similarities of women’s inevitable unknown.”

“Every woman, if you live long enough, will go through menopause. And most women spend the longest period of their life in their pre-menopausal or menopausal years, like three decades,” Berry started, in the video. “..I’ve gotten involved to try to de-stigmatize it, to let us understand that when we reach this time in our life, these are our best years. So to think that we should pack it up or we should not pay attention to all of the things that are going on with our body, I think is a, is a real problem. And that’s what most women do.”

The Gothika star talked about how her friends rejoiced when she brought up the topic of menopause, saying how “they were starving to talk with someone about it and not feel shame. And they were starved to share their experiences. And we realized we’re going through a lot of the same things.”

We’re so happy Berry is working with political officials to get the needle moving, and get people talking about menopause. And we truly can’t wait to see what she accomplishes!

(Psst: You can watch the full interview below!)

When it comes to cunnilingus positions, “comfort is key,” sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. The receiving partner can feel “very exposed,” she explained, so good technique and trust with your partner is paramount. Communication and letting your partner what feels good and what doesn’t is also super important, adds Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. When done right, cunnilingus can be incredible at “stimulating and building arousal” for people with vulvas.

The entire landscape of cunnilingus positions expands far beyond our go-tos, and it’s just waiting to be discovered. Isn’t it time we collectively explored the frontiers that lay just outside our norms? Here are eight cunnilingus positions you probably haven’t tried yet, but you and your partner will totally want to add to your bedroom repertoire.

Sideways 69

This is an easy variation to start exploring with your partner, Switzer says. It’s the “classic 69,” she says,” but with both partners on their sides rather than one on top of the other.” It’s comfortable but still hot, and familiar enough to get you ready to experiment even more.

All Fours

Sitting on someone’s face can be awesome, because it gives your partner direct access to your nether parts. But it can also be intimidating, awkward or straight-up uncomfortable, because, well, you’re pressing all of your weight onto someone’s face. 

The All Fours plays to the strengths of sitting on your partner’s face without forcing you to literally sit on your partner’s face. By getting on your hands and knees above your lying partner, you’re supporting yourself — and doing so in a generally comfortable way. This also gives your partner the option of “pleasuring the whole area,” Dr. Tara adds, including or not including your anus. So basically, it’s all the intensity you expect from face-sitting, without the discomfort.

Pillow Princess

This popular position, suggested by Dr. Tara, is a simple variation on your typical legs-spread option. The vulva owner places a pillow under their butt, lifting their pelvic area and “making it easy to receive,” Dr. Tara explains.

Lean Forward

An easy way to switch things up? Stand during oral sex. While most cunnilingus positions involve you sitting or lying down, the Lean Forward has you standing up and — you guessed it — leaning forward while your partner kneels behind you. Feel free to use the walls for stability, be they in your bedroom, your living room, or your shower.

Wrapped Eagle

The Wrapped Eagle offers a slight twist on the most classic of cunnilingus positions. Instead of lying down with your legs splayed out, have your legs wrapped around your partner’s head. This can mitigate some of the vulnerability associated with the more obvious Spread Eagle position — plus, it allows you to control the pressure. Simply pull your partner closer to you when you’re looking to up the intensity.

Forbidden Fruit

Fans of doggy-style will surely appreciate this approach to cunnilingus. Get on all fours — but on your knees and elbows, rather than your knees and hands for the Forbidden Fruit. Once you’ve gotten comfortable, invite your partner to join you. From behind, they’ll have direct access to your genitals.

Modified 69

Modified 69 took everything you love about face-sitting and combined it with everything you love about 69. Have your partner lie with their head and shoulders hanging off the side of the bed as you stand up. Walk toward them so you’re straddling over their face. From there, you can bend over to engage in a little reciprocity, or just enjoy being on the receiving end for a little while.

The nice part? You can control the intensity by bending your knees as much or as little as you want. You can also support yourself by leaning forward and placing your hands on the bed.

Virgo

This incredibly intense position will have you standing as your partner explores you from an entirely new angle. For the Virgo, simply stand up straight, with your back against the wall. Your partner can sit below you in whatever position they choose —so long as they can reach your genitals. From there, they can perform cunnilingus as long as desired, and you can always move to the bed if you want a softer surface.

Kick Back

If lying down during cunnilingus isn’t really your thing, you might appreciate the Kick Back. A seated take on a classic, the Kick Back offers your partner direct access to your nether bits without leaving you splayed out on the bed. This is especially alluring if you’ve got a comfy chair to partake in. The next time you’re looking to change things up, you know exactly where to go.

All Curled Up

This one is a little more vulnerable, but so satisfying. Lie down, then bend your knees and hug your legs as close to your chest as they’ll go. The All Curled Up position will introduce an entirely new angle to oral sex, which may pave the way for some finger play or sex toy supplementation, too.

A version of this post was originally published in 2019.

Before you go, please check out our bucket list of 69 (nice) sex positions to try: