Asking for a Friend: Nitika Chopra on Psoriasis & How to Help Someone with Chronic Illness

In our latest installment of Asking for a Friend, we spoke to Flow Advisory Council member Nitika Chopra, a chronic illness advocate and founder of Chronicon, about how to best show up for the loved ones in your life suffering from a chronic illness. Chopra was diagnosed with psoriasis at age 10 and developed psoriatic arthritis roughly a decade later, so speaks from firsthand experience of what it’s like to be on the receiving end.

“Psoriasis is a skin condition, but what a lot of people don’t realize is that while it shows up on the skin — oftentimes as red, flaky patches — it is actually an autoimmune disease,” explains Chopra of the condition. “When you have an autoimmune disease, there are a lot of systemic things happening with your body that go way beyond just the skin.”

Read more below to learn what else Chopra had to say about psoriasis, living with a chronic illness and how both can affect interpersonal relationships.

Is there a cure for psoriasis?

“There is no known cure for psoriasis,” says Chopra. “In my own experience, I have been through ups and downs with my condition and there are times when I haven’t been affected by it and times when I have been more affected by it. But, there’s no medically known cure.”

How does chronic illness affect relationships?

“Honestly, it has been my greatest teacher when it comes to relationships,” she says. “Chronic illness can be intense, heavy, hard, and although I have a lot of other parts of me that are fun and a joy to be around — obviously! — that is not always the case when I am going through something really real. So, relationships, whether it’s romantic or with friends, have been a real challenge because I feel like I have had to be honest and real much faster than a lot of people out there may want to be.”

She adds, “At the same time, I think that has become my superpower, and it’s something I love about myself because it helps me filter people out really fast. But growing up, it was a mess. I did not always feel that way, and it took a while for me to get my footing around that part of my life.”

What are ways to practice self-love while living with psoriasis?

“The first thing that comes to mind is having a relationship with your body that starts with kindness and grace and care,” she says. “I know you’re having this experience that may feel medical, which for me it did for a long time with all of the treatments and things I was trying, but it’s not really about that — that’s just one aspect of it. You are a living, breathing thing. So, to be able to go from all that stuff to actually just getting to the center of who you are, nurturing things that you like to do whether it’s listening to audiobooks or going to brunch with friends…really getting to know yourself outside of your condition is probably the most loving thing you can do.”

What can friends do when you have a chronic illness?

“I love this question and wish more people asked it when I was first dealing with my health. First ask, ‘Is there anything you need?’ A lot of times, there’s not a lot of things people can do when I’m going through a flare, but just knowing that this person really wants to be there is really helpful,” she notes. She adds that you can also make a running list of the things your friend enjoys, whether that’s a certain type of food or their favorite movie to watch. “Then when they’re going through a flare up or hard time with their health, you can suggest doing some of those things and take that labor off their plate,” says Chopra. “Just being there really makes a difference.”