Asking for a Friend: Alysia Reiner Shares Her Advice for Keeping ‘Sex Hot’ With a Long-Term Partner

Alysia Reiner, actress and volunteer firefighter, did not hold back when she recently answered questions concerning sex during Flow‘s Asking for a Friend series. How do you keep sex hot with the same partner after a long time, someone asked the activist. And as it turns out, there’s no better person to answer than Reiner: she met her husband when she was about 20 years old. “We still have sex,” she says. “And it’s really important to talk about still having sex after a long time.”

She adds, “It changes. It’s not the same. Let it flow, evolve, and play. When we were little baby actors, we had a lot of dressing-room sex. That was our thing. With our busy lives, that’s a little bit more tricky.” But the Orange Is the New Black star notes that now that her daughter is older and she doesn’t have to get up with her, she has “morning time” with her husband that she can use appropriately. Read more below to see what else Reiner had to say about prioritizing sex.

How do you find time to prioritize sex?

“Here’s my truth about life in general,” Reiner starts. “You can find time for anything you really want to find time for. For me, it’s on the schedule. It’s really okay to schedule it, just as long as it’s scheduled as fun.”

Any advice for falling back in love with your partner?

“In a long-term marriage, you’re going to hate the person at some point,” she says. “That’s so normal and okay. The biggest way to fall back in love is to start looking for things you love in them. Write ten things down, every single day, that you love about them. It really helps.”